There are definitely different ways of seeing things. As Ramón de Campoamor used to say: “…there is no truth or lie; everything depends on the color of the glass you look through.” And today marks two years since the day that changed my life, I believe, forever.
There I was. Dressed only in a hospital gown and with 82% oxygen saturation, feeling that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t fill my lungs with air. Worried, nervous, very scared, but with that natural conviction that we all have when we’ve faced and overcome countless challenges: “I’ll get through this.” I can’t deny that, even in the midst of so many emotions, I was still trying to focus my mind on being able to breathe and not getting more nervous. Then suddenly a doctor appears and says to the nurse, “Give him his phone so he can say goodbye. You know how this is…”. From that second, all the previous emotions were suddenly replaced by deep sadness, desolation, anger, and frustration.
I’m fully aware that we will all leave this life at some point. Sooner or later, we will all go, and only our memory will remain for a while, which will also sooner or later disappear forever. I’m clear on that; however, it’s not until the moment you become aware, and something in your head says, “Hey! This is as far as you go,” that you start to think about what truly matters and how ridiculously insignificant you are in the face of certain things. Something very harsh, very strong. Devastating in many ways.
I was 42 years old and had spent the last 26 working, studying, traveling, and accumulating so many things that I considered “necessary” that I had lost sight of how fleeting life is. I postponed certain things “for later” because I thought “there’s still time,” and I convinced myself that I controlled my destiny. How naive of me! I thought at that moment. What a way to waste time on unnecessary things and to deprioritize others that were truly important.
That day, I realized that I had actually achieved almost everything I had once dreamed of a long time ago, and that everything else was just the product of a vanity as empty as it was unnecessary. Who are we kidding? Are you really “happier” with a wealth of diverse and growing investments, or by having the most expensive cars in your garage, or perhaps because you lead some successful initiatives, or because you are recognized and feel recognized at a professional level in your field? Does that make you “happier”? Well, at least for me, at that moment, I came to the conclusion that it doesn’t. You’re not happier because of any of that. At some point in your life, you might think so, and you might even decide to direct all your efforts toward that path. Certainly. I know that. But the reality is that “when the time comes,” you wouldn’t mind trading everything, absolutely everything, just to have the certainty that you’ll have more time in this world and that you can “correct the course” and focus on what really matters… on what truly fills your heart.
In those bitter moments, I came to the conclusion that nothing I previously considered valuable or synonymous with success mattered as much, because at that moment, all I wanted was to hold my four children tight and tell them a few things “before I go.” I wanted to organize some matters that I had left pending and that “only I” could resolve. I wanted to tell my wife how much I love her and how incredibly happy I had been by her side. I wanted to hug some friends, sort out some things, say goodbye properly… put a “stop” to what was my life… but no, none of that was going to be possible because I could barely speak, my life was slipping away with each exhalation, and I was alone, cut off from communication, and at best, if I didn’t make it, my family wouldn’t see me again because “the protocol” said we all had to be cremated. What a terrible end, right?
I wouldn’t wish such a situation on anyone. Absolutely no one I know deserves to go through something like this, and certainly, I don’t think I deserved it either; however, today I think it was necessary. I believe that everything has a reason, and time has undoubtedly shown me that. I won’t get spiritual, because I’m not, but it’s clear that we all have a purpose and that our path often contributes to others’, whether good or bad, we all are part of a whole, and even if we don’t realize it or believe otherwise, our life is worth more than just watching the years go by and, eventually, achieving “success.” Now I know that.
When I recovered and was able to breathe normally again, despite having spent over a month after discharge with oxygen at home and several weeks unable to walk without pain, I had had time to think (a lot). I had time to rethink my life and my goals. I won’t get spiritual, I repeat, but I could say that “I saw the path clearly.” Life can end at any moment, no matter who you are, what you have, or what you’ve achieved. Death doesn’t discriminate and “sweeps evenly,” so what better idea than to live my life while waiting for that moment of “transition” to come again. After all, sooner or later it will come for me, whether I want it or not, just like it will for you.
I decided to take things calmly. To only accept in my life the things that uplift me and make me smile. To not spend a second on people who aren’t worth it and, on the contrary, to fully enjoy good company. I enjoy spending much more time with my family, savoring small moments and details, focusing solely on things that fulfill me both personally and professionally, and allocating my time more equitably between my interests and my duties.
I must say that I have also learned to enjoy my few moments alone. I believe that all the life I lived has been worth it to be able to live the one I have now, indeed. I have no doubt about it. Nowadays, I only do what I like, enjoy every day, and try to leave something of myself in every step I take and every “new adventure” I choose to undertake. If everything is so ephemeral, then not enjoying every beautiful moment is madness or at least a foolishness.
Of course. I’m not in “zen mode” by any means, haha. I’m busier than ever, but with a different model. For the past two years, it’s been my wife who runs the business, supported by people we trust completely, and although I stay informed about everything, I let everyone do what they already know they need to do. I believe that reaching that situation is a real joy.
It’s also true that living in a new time zone has allowed me to balance my life “without major disruption”, which lets me have new personal and professional experiences, participating and collaborating with other organizations that find this humble servant useful, and thus pursue several things that fill me with excitement. I’ve even been able to take on new personal projects that weren’t possible before and that keep me with that characteristic “nervousness” of every entrepreneur. I’m not bored, no.
Life is still good, with its complications and little things, but as I said at the beginning: “…everything is according to the color of the lens through which you view it.”
I hope this little reflection helps you to think about things differently, that it brings something to your life, and that in some way my experience helps you to consider things in a different way. Believe me, life is beautiful if you want it to be…
#It’sBeenTwoDays #KeepItSimple ✌🏻😊